Dear Justin, My wife and I were walking in Niagara Falls and came across some 14 year old kid who was clearly trying to imitate you on every level. Being is the comedian she is, she immediately walked up to him and asked "are you Justin Bieber?" The boy said no, but you could clearly tell that she had made his day and gave him bragging rights on the playground for the next week.
Why am I telling you this Justin? The reason is that while I understand you are just a kid yourself, you have to be getting sick of the thousands of clones you can see on any given sidewalk in any given city. Who are these kids and since when did the "Biebercoif" become the standard hairdo for tweens and teenagers?
I must admit that I've never actually heard a single songs of yours, nor do I really want to, but I find it crazy that I know what you are doing on any given day in spite of this important fact. I think I might have seen the first 20 seconds of your music video when you were on the phone with your homeboy Usher (like you two actually call each other), but other than that your music remains a complete mystery to me.
I don't want to be too hard on you; you're a kid and already making a better living than I ever will. But I have to tell you that the Biebermania that I see everywhere has to stop soon or I might go crazy. maybe you'll pull a Kris Kross and fall into obscurity once your voice changes and your balls sink to the floor. Or maybe you'll pronounce your homosexuality to the world and piss off all those right-wing, suburban parents who have been funneling money into your empire for the past year or so. Or maybe, and probably more likely, you just end up being replaced by the latest craze who's just younger, cuter and a better dance.
ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!
EDJ
Seriously...there was brief mention on the radio that he might be on Robson street in Vancouver and 15 minutes later there was Bieber pandemonium. At least "Bieber" is still unrecognized by spellcheck. :)
ReplyDelete